It's been 11 1/2 yrs now since my aneursym. I guess I'm as good as I'm going to get. I still take meds for my seizures. I don't cry anymore like I used to. But now when I'm nervous or feel like I'm being watched, I laugh which really upsets me. I can't control my laughter. I still get severe headaches which scare me because of when I had my aneursym I had one then. I can sleep 12 hrs a day. I'm always tired. I hate being outdoors playing with the kids or working in the yard. I used to love it. I tire out easily. Its very frustrating not to be able to concentrate on one thing til I complete it. My wife gets upset when I don't finish something. I'm kind of like a kid again. She used to have a husband and five kids but now she feels like she has no husband and six kids. My kids take advantage of me. They make me laugh when I'm upset with them. They just barely touch me and I stumble. I still forget alot of things. But most of all, my wife and kids have come to accept me for who I am and what I can do. I'm the one who still has a hard time accepting what I have become. I love my wife and children dearly. They keep me going from day to day. Live for today, for no one knows what tomorrow brings.
Original Post
It really happened 2 yrs before 1995. I was having severe headaches continually. My life had gone to pot. I was a retail manager and delivering 2 paper routes a night (120 miles a night).I was always tired. No big deal. In May of 1994 my wife had our 5th child. She stayed at her mothers house with the rest of the kids after Caleb was born. She couldnt take me. I was aweful. Also treated her and the kids like dirt. I went to the doctor and told him I couldnt take it anymore. He said for me to go to Charter Mental Hospital and admit myself which I did. I was there for 2 weeks. I decided that I wanted a divorce then.
I didnt want any visitors while I was in the hospital, not my wife,kids or my parents. I finally decided to have my wife come to tell her I wanted a divorce. She came and we talked along with the counselor, i couldnt handle it and left. Finally it was time to go home. My wife, kids and parents came to get me. My parents let us take a weekend vaction in the mountains on them, while we talked about our divorce. I told her what she had to do if we were too stay together. (It was all her fault and not mine, that is what i thought). She agreed to the list. I cant remember it but i know that I was asking to much from her. She didnt want the divorce. This was in August of 1994. When I got back to work, they had fired me, because I didnt tell them I was going in the hospital. That was a big lie!! They knew it!! Well, they gave me back my job, but demoted me to an assistant manger. They had done a surprise inventory while I was in the hospital. I had been manager at that store for only 5 months.I wasnt manager during Christmas, which is when alot of shoplifting goes on. Anyway, I was demoted to assistant manager and moved to another store. In October of 1994 , I was fired because I had a $40,000 shortage. I had that store anly 5 months and another manager had it 7 months, but of course this shortage was all my fault. Well, I took this time to try and repair our marriage. By now it was getting really bad for my family. I was acting aweful. Yelling all the time and tired. Then I went to the doctor in December of 1994.I thought I had a sinus infection. An X-ray was taken and it was fine.
Then on January 26, 1995, about 2 AM , I was leaving for the paper route but my head was still hurting really bad. Before I left, I went to the kitchen to get some Tylenol. When I flipped on the light, I collasped on the floor, knocking things over. My wife heard the comotion and came in there. She thought I had a heart attack.I was completely paralyzed. I couldnt move or talk. The ambulance came and took me to the hospital. When I was put on the stretcher, I felt that my pants were wet. I was so embarassed. I was scared. By now, my head was killing me. I said to myself, I wish I were dead because it hurt so bad. I heard the doctor tell someone that he thought I had an aneursym. When I heard that, all I wanted was to see my wife and kids before I died. The doctor wouldnt let me see my kids. They waited 24 hrs for the spasms to stop so they could operate. The doctor told my wife that the aneursym was as large as a thumbnail. When he got in, he found that what that was was the blood clot trying to stop the bleeding. Ths actual size of the aneursym was the size of a tennis ball he said. He repaired it, and the next day I had another massive stroke. I was paralyzed on my right side now. He also told my wife that I had a 33% chance of dying during surgery, 33% chance of being a vegetable and a33% chance of being fairly normal. He also told her that I would never talk again because the aneursym was right where my speech was. I went to therapy for 9 months and finally got the use of my right side back. It is weak but I dont need a cane or anything.
Well to this day, I can talk, not dead, or a vegetable. I do have other problems now, but I thank the Lord for my wife staying with me through all the hell I gave her and the kids. I love my family dearly. Now I'm a Mr. Mom, trying to take care of 5 kids while my wife works. That is my biggest problem now. It is so hard, but thats another story. Thank you all for you letting me tell my story here.
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