Where do I begin? This has been long overdue to write my story but was necessary to fulfill a commitment to myself. This is not so easy to explain in just a few words here.

A little about my background and my dysfunctional life before tbi; I was married for twenty-four years to an alcoholic and a abusive man, along with my Catholic background! I was conditioned for that way of life and after my divorce I dated a man of the same caliber. Never a word of fighting for fear of being hurt as in my past.

One night, in May of 1993 I began to fear the glare, he was sharing with me and not speaking to me "the silent treatment". We sat down at the kitchen table to have dinner. Suddenly my life changed forever! I had a near death experience! That night he, the perpetrator had the strength of ten men. He picked me up while I was in my chair and threw me to the ground. He sat on me holding my arms down and started strangling me to the state of unconsciousness. I couldn't breathe nor could I fight back. I started coming to and he was still, strangling me. After that I started coming too again and this time he was beating my head on the floor over and over as I felt my brain sloshing back and forth inside my scull. I couldn't stay conscious, for the pain was excruciating as I laid there helplessly. I started coming to and saw him throw the chair, he stepped over me and sat down to finish eating his left over pizza, as if nothing had happened. I couldn't move yet I knew I wasn't dead!

At that moment "I begged for God's help not to take me for my children needed me," I said, "I'm all they have". Suddenly I felt some strength lift my head so I could see, for I couldn't feel my legs and I considered this, the hands of my guardian angel. I quietly started to roll over and over toward the stove which enabled me to pull myself up, and staggered up the stairs. I was terrified! I went to call for help but I couldn't find any telephones in the house. I couldn't understand, "why weren't there any telephones"?

Through EMDR therapy (which is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing treatment for trauma) it was learn that I was attacked two more times that night. I tried to get away at dawn for I was still dazed and could hardly walk. He was downstairs and suddenly I heard the door to the basement close. I was scared have to death, he started up the stairs with his arms filled with telephones; and he just glared at me as I pressed myself against the stairwell. He took the telephones with him into the bathroom and began to shower, and I horridly left. I didn't recall any of this until eight months later, as I have pieced this puzzle together. I don't recall driving home that day. I called an advocate and made out a police report. Because visible injuries are excepted by society, the police did not take this assault seriously, yet being injured with a closed head injury I couldn't explain everything that had happen to me at that time. The perpetrator was charge with 3rd degree misdemeanor and convicted in which he served 18 days in jail with two years unsupervised probation. Everything was erased from his records if he remain good for six months which was completed. He continued trying to contact me after the assault which I have a permanent restraining order against him and is a necessary tool for our court system.

Our laws must change to protect the innocence for this was a felony assault, for I had broken ribes and tail bone let alone, the closed head injury that I live with daily. I never went to the doctor until a few days later for fear he would come after me and I was in a state of denial how bad this assault really was, hoping that all of this would just away. That is part of the sickness resulting from domestic violence, which needs to be addressed.

I am presently writing a book about my experience for this is my responsibility as a survivor of domestic violence to speak out and to share my wisdom with others, for I am healthy now and forever.

I realize this was a heavy subject that must be stated in order to have others become aware of this dreadful crime. Thank you so much for listening and allowing me to share my story through this wonderful web site which has been a source for my recovery, as well. Take care,
Sharon

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