"Mosaic Wall Hanging by Sean, Survivor of TBI.

This piece so beautifully hand crafted, touches me in that visually it displays the pieces of our lives that portray how from small pieces, beauty can be brought forth and radiate, the souls we are within that helped us survive in our "River of Life" as survivors that have picked up the pieces of our shattered lives caused by abusive behavior by those we came to love." Pearl,M.S.

EMPOWERING OUR MINDS TO BE SET FREE OF ANY FORM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Watercolors by Sigun Sandstrom, Survivor of ABI

Faced the Reality of Domestic Violence, yet we found Tools that have set us free to Dream and live again:

A kind soul that peered into our hearts and minds and reached out to Open the Windows of our Minds to see the Beauty and Power of Love that as survivors of domestic violence had thought Love did not exist for us.

Yet one soul, one visionary that tended to our wounds and helped us be set free, a friend whose depth of understanding and human compassion that at times repeatedly could not comprehend how it is any person can endure such acts. Whether it is years or just a one time experience with domestic violence is too much for any human to have to experience. Kind souls gave me wings to fly to be set free.

Feel the wind let it dry the tears we used to shed and may you reach out and take the hand of the one to set you free.

Pearl,M.S.
4/24/02

Writings Posted to date: (4)

Photography by Jane aka "Patch", Survivor of TBI

WRITING: 1

Spirit of a Soaring Eagle
Freedom

Friends have written about their paths and the beauty of reaching hearts and touching souls.

Relearned what it is to have friends that do not turn their backs on us. Others come and go as the changing of the winds, yet it has been the love of newfound souls that reached deep within them to provide the comfort and counsel that opened the doors to freedom as an eagle flies above the skies, soaring with such strength and vision it is not deterred once set on a mission or survival to feed upon the cycle of life.

Freedom of cutting the chains that had kept me in a dungeon of darkness and of pain, which clouded the beauty surrounding my soul. The wind blowing, the sky so bright, all harm is pushed aside as the eagle focuses on its prey to survive and nothing deters the eagle.

So it was the catharsis that gave me the courage the strength to get out from the dungeon of those that had broken my spirit and thought that they had killed such passion of surviving.

To the contrary the more they trapped me in with restraints the more my newfound friends, kept focusing my attention on the beauty I once dreamed of, the freedom of simply being, of caring, of loving, of living.

Years in the making but they did not abandon me. They provide hope and they gave unconditionally simple kindness, without ever demanding or making me feel “I owed them.”

Survivor in more ways than one, yet the determination, the perseverance, despite the so called ‘rights’ of others to try to keep me in bondage for their needs was something I never had within me to do, so it is that the misunderstandings of my being or persona were magnified.

Just like an eagle protects its young at all costs so it was for me to find the paths that have led to my escape and cutting loose the chains that to this day so many keep wanting me to go back to. Never may that be as life was a gift to all of us, and to ever want a soul to be put in chains particularly a fellow peer or human being that has survived, traumatic brain injury or acquired brain injury is simply beyond comprehension.

CONTROL, control……such destructiveness, yet that is the path many thrive on and yet do not realize that to those they want to keep in dungeons or chains, it is their so called prey that become like the eagle with its focus on survival.

Astonished they react to see us free
Shocked as it may that we cut the chains
Yet is it shock or is it the fact that they will be exposed for their cruelty? Guilt? Only they can justify their persona, as this Eagle has no desire to be caught in their traps or nets.

Freedom of fear, freedom of being intimidated, freedom of loving life and letting others live life as they choose.

Chains so cold so harsh, yet words and acts can cast those chains on those that cannot defend themselves due to the very causes that brought us to meet so many like us as survivors.

Misunderstood for not wanting to be put into shackles again, oh but not from arrogance but from surviving as someone that fell into the dungeon of domestic violence.

One like the Eagle protects its young at all costs, so is to that our soul can sense, feel, smell any inkling of being tricked to go back to being chained.

Only those that have experienced such trauma would never dream of causing wounds to bleed again, so it is my desire to share thoughts of my escape so if one soul finds comfort in knowing that despite such overwhelming mental chains many have tried to keep us under, it can be cut loose.

Belittled and also chastised by those that can not seem to understand what it has been to be in a dark cold barren mental dungeon is to reveal their own inadequacies of their lack of compassion towards another human being.

Who then has the chains? But be it visible or not to souls that are set free, it becomes our focus to survive as the eagle focuses on survival.

Bitterness, hatred must be left behind, and a passion to survive against all odds and to repel any being that tries to entrap us by their cunning words or cruelty and betrayal of our trust we once had for them.

Friends, true friends would not harm us, but not all are what they have said they would be to us, in the process of our recovery.

Bruises, scars so deep within our soul, we do not need to be having them punctured and reinjured by those that seek to prey on us based on the knowledge that we once were held captive by a trusted person that once said they had love for us.

Prey? NEVER, victims? NEVER, So why the stigma of being weak? WEAK?
Survivors that have paid a heavy price for freedom of those that thrive on control and abusiveness at all levels and at times unimaginable another human can cause?

Callousness, empty souls that have stigmatized us as not having intelligence. Far from it, is the case, but in silence we move on,

Soaring like the eagle whose strength and vision is unique and it has earned a reputation of courage and boldness and strength.

Pity to us that have fled from the bondages of mental imprisonment is like acid that corrodes metal.

Luster in a soul, as we all were given the gift of life and of flourishing to our potential, so where is the justification of another’s’ erroneous thinking of superiority because we had fallen into a trap unaware of it’s devastation?

How quickly others become authorities on life. How many times have we not been told how inadequate we are, oh if only those times were in numerated, pages or volumes would fill libraries, but to what avail?

How many humans read every book that is published? So it is to know that despite the cruel words spoken to us by thoughtlessness, it is that ability to perceive finally that we too have wings, we too can breath the air that so beautiful touches our face as we fly and ponder on the reality of our newfound freedom…from abusive individuals.

We stand up for our what we have so kindly been taught by others that no we do not have to be made to feel we ‘deserve’ disrespect or abuse.

A God given right, not by a human who is callous and has the need to feel superior without accountability to the one that bestowed life upon us, our Creator.

So it is the beauty of the joy of being set free mentally.

Reality is the continued barragement of so many that want us to be in servitude and they are the ones that we must always be on the look out for as they have erroneously concluded that we have no ability to survive as at one time we had been caught by deceit and by conniving self centered souls.

A Soul, A Life, A Gift.

If I am to be misunderstood so be it if that is the price that must be paid to never be put in chains again or to close our eyes to those that reach out for help to be set free.

Pearl

Copyright:Pearl,M.S.
4/8/02

WRITING: 2

( Echoes - Emergence of a Soul : Dedicated to all those that have faced or survived any form of Domestic Violence. My heart goes out especially to all those that have experienced this despite TBI/BI. One step towards healing is take a step to reaching out to hold the hand of a soul in pain so it is I hope this writing will touch you and strengthen you to be free like the eagle that flies freely.)

ECHOES - EMERGENCE OF A SOUL

The realization of self worth and our existence was the first step in our new path,
A path and life we never knew was possible.
Some cannot comprehend and even scoff at us, presumptuously assuming that we are weak,
And that we must enjoy being controlled or abused.
Have even been told that it is my own fault of such mentality as I allowed it.

Concepts, theories, justifications, easy solutions to those that never lived in such a world.
To be controlled in every move, they have no idea of the horror we live with in our minds.
The crippling effect over time has somehow immobilized the very core of our existence.
The pain so deep and each time we are violated in any way, is like that of being in solitary confinement mentally.
But just as those that endure confinement we too have learned to escape the reality of the cruelty.

At times we go about our lives just through motions as the sadness in our hearts, many would not believe it or think we are mentally unstable, but we know that not to be the case.
We have mastered coping skills unbeknown to even our selves.

Overpowering fear that has been instilled and ingrained in our minds for years,
Does not allow us to see clearly the sheer agony and despair within our soul.
In a silent world, as if unable to speak, we have learned to live in silence.

Echoes of a soul.

Quietly we go about our daily existence, they have tried to break our spirit but,
Somehow we endured and survive as we succumb to appeasing them so as to avoid
Awakening a hungry lion looking for prey.

So it is the devastating effects of the physical pain, belittlement and hurtful words that are uttered to us without remorse by the perpetrator.
Again justified actions by the very ones that said once they loved us or cared for us.

Stop and Listen to the beauty surrounding us as we stand alone in a cold night looking to the skies to see the stars as they seem inanimate but they have comforted us on those nights we had no where else to go or to turn too. They shimmer and shine as if to mend our wounds we have just experienced.

These moments are the times that seem to sooth our mind and souls as they do not condemn us, they do not judge us, they are the creations of a Creator that has not forgotten us.

As a bird pollinates the flowers, so it is that the smallest gesture or kind word from those that do not demand a thing from us, or never give us ultimatums,
But understand the silent world we have lived and they do not tire out and give up on us.

They have heard our echo,
True long lasting friends they have become to us.

Others have expressed concern, but it is all-conditional on their terms.
Hear our echoes, we do not seek to be caged again.
So why must you too demand conditions like the perpetrator who has injured our soul?
Can you not step for one second into our world to understand us?
We did not wish to be controlled; we like you at one time had dreams, succeeded in areas where no one placed conditions.
We yearned to be who we were, just like you.
We just happened to love blindly due to lack of knowledge and love and thus fell into a trap
By the very ones that said they cared.

Echoes within our soul and minds

Can you see now, why trust seems only to come from and given only to those that are long lasting friends?
Not those that want to be recognized and given credit or a grant for feeling pity towards a soul that has been injured.
We are not ignorant or stupid as we are so often called.

Yet amidst this turmoil in our heart we do not breed bitterness or resentment.

To the contrary to be alive and having our echoes heard is to have lived for a moment that would be a dream never to be realized.

It was like a dream come true that we have found friends that saw our wounds, tended them and gave us tools to relearn behavior and to live and fly like an eagle.

Cautious we have learned to be due to false friends, yet just as those gave of themselves to us as strangers or as loved ones,

You have found a friend in me, as I have taken hold of the pinions of the eagle that has taken me out of my cage and freed me from the Bird Catchers trap.

As the mountains reign in their mighty stature among the skies, so now I have felt the joy and beauty of living.
A life without chains on neither my mind nor my soul and no I am not stupid nor ignorant as so many think we are.

Emergence of a soul emancipated and have admitted the realities of the darkness left behind and accepted the love of those that heard my echo and lead me to paths of joy and peace within my soul.

Listen to the Echoes that are waiting to be heard by a kind soul.

They are many and all we asked for is: respect and acknowledgement of our being.

We never lost our intelligence not our desire to live and dream.
That is the mistake so many make when they hear us labeled as: victims.
We are human beings that love life and yet we have survived be it a day, a month or two or a lifetime!

The realization of self worth and existence came to us with a price and we paid it.
We do not owe it to no one but to our a Creator that kept us alive!
As he valued us despite others that think as survivors or those that still live in bondage but deserve what we got yet
Our creator is the one that kept us alive.

To the contrary, even if you read these words and think that you have a prey,

You have never lived our life and thus will never put us back into the cage our so called loved ones thought we would never find another human being that would cut the chains perpetrators put on us.

It has empowered us to reach out and seek to find the souls that are crying out for You and I.

Echoes, A soul, my soul, A soul of someone you may know.

Hear the echoes
No conditions, no ultimatums
Love so as to free a bird in bondage.

Feel the freedom we feel by those that cared enough over this long journey.

Echoes

Pearl
Copyright: Pearl, M.S.
1/8/02

WRITING: 3

Crevices

Used to see closed doors as I faced dark days.
Used to hear "one reaches out when rock bottom is hit".
At times it felt I was in a bottomless well as I awaited to reach that bottom
I kept hanging on, surviving knowing that there had to be a bottom at one point.

I did not reach the bottom but I reached out to hold on to crevices inside the bottomless well.
I hung on for dear life as I knew that though I had fallen I could look up and see the sky.

The sky always gave me hope to keep on looking and searching for that moment I would climb out of that well. What is the well compared to?

Depression, Defeat ,Discouragement ,Disappointments
It was the act of reaching out to those crevices.
Crevices at the time were the kind words of understanding and caring by those that did not let me sink into oblivion.

Obstacles or Challenges?
"The day you see obstacles is the day you no longer are focused. Obstacles will cause you defeat so it is that you must see them as challenges so as to reach what may seem the impossible." (B.Morgan)

That was the beginning of a new path, that was the day I reached the top of the well. The moment one feels alive. The taking in of fresh air, the pleasure of seeing the beauty around us. We are alive and now so we move forward as we meet challenges.

A vision well focused, a friend that cared
But that was just the beginning. As I reflect back I see that well so far away, but keep it in view to remind me not to fall back in but to share, love and seek dreams.

It is the caring and listening of all those that touched our lives, each and every crevice be it a small part of a well but without it the entire wall would collapse as it is all part of the Canvas of Life.

Building new bridges of survival, listening to the waters flow beneath those bridges, the swaying of the trees near the banks, the gentle breeze, a moment in time.

A place for you and I.

Lost my friend, but his strength was the beginning of paths and friends that encircled me with peace. May you too find not one but thousands more that will build bridges for you.

A vision focused A dream come true

A life with love A friend of mine

Pearl
copyright: Pearl,MS
July 10, 2001 10:00am

WRITING 4

Shattered Dreams, Birth to New Paths

As the sun rises and the moon sets
So our shattered dreams become the tools
That awaken in us what we may not have faced before
Though we feel as if the night never ends and that the sun will not rise again
Dawn begins to set in so does the realization of a our shattered dream
For that moment Time seems to stop

Time, something we shared, something that we give knowing that
Our time or seeds of love may just never be returned but the fact that we
Shared and cultivated those seeds, begins to take over the pain we may feel.
As we lay still and see the dawning light, we reflect on the joys and excitement
We felt that created that dream that seems shattered.

But despite the pain, suddenly we realize that all that gave of their time
And nurturing they did on our behalf, could not be allowed to go by the wayside.
It is this crossroad that gives birth to new paths.

Paths unknown, so we think, yet we still recall that long night
The night we thought our paths had come to an end.
But as the tears are wiped away our inner thoughts keep nursing that wound

Dreams now begin to break through the concrete barrier
We feel within us created by our dream shattered
So the laughter we shared and the joy we felt become
Like the sun and the water the seedlings crave
Thus our pain is washed away and paths begin to show us a way to
Move forward in our quest to feel the rays of the sun with those that we shall meet again.

With their love and time given once again we dream again
Our paths begin to flourish with activity as if to find the soul that craves for
Just one drop of water to quench that thirst to heal a broken dream.

As I walk on that new path, just like the country road blanketed with beauty
I begin to recall one more time the gifts of love by others that inspired my dreams.
No time to look back as if a crippling effect had overpowered the mind and soul
It is the love of others that shared their joys and tears
That has made that shattered dream a stepping stone to my new path

As I walk this new path I can feel , the soft breeze blowing as the sun begins to set
Radiant colors in the sky disappear as the moon begins to shine
Another night to dream.

Pearl

Copyright: Pearl, M.S.
8/25/01