Los Angeles, CA USA

PEARL,M.S.

CANVAS OF LIFE
Blessings in Disguise, My Children

"Artists with Brain Injuries"
Graphic by "Sylvie" UK. All Rights Reserved

Life showers upon us at times trials that within themselves cause events to enrich our lives in ways we would have not otherwise experienced.

I was blessed with three gifted children:

Janice Blu, 32 artist, TBI survivor MVA 12/4/97,
Sarah, 17, artist and writer,
Daniel 15, creative in the arts of technology.

All three have played instruments as many as 5 different instruments by ear as Daniel has. I too played the violin in an orchestra at a young age. My artworks in pencils and writings began at an early age.
Though my arts had lain dormant all this time, I kept my love of the arts within me, as I saw them in my children.

Three jewels of enlightenment, my children, gifted in the arts and with such vigor in their lives, as events unraveled I came to realize that their eccentricity and their paths prepared me for what changed our lives and perspectives on that winter night Thursday December 4, 1997, 7:00 p.m. in
Parsons, Kansas where Blu incurred her traumatic brain injury by a motor vehicle accident as a back seat passenger without a seatbelt and the driver of the car she was in was DUI.

To date we are going on six years post my daughter's TBI, Janice "Blu". Evolving events continue to face us yet with determination, perseverance and hope it has been the basis of accepting my challenges.

As if it was not enough for one of my offspring to suffer a disabilitating tragedy,

Daniel, my red head and only son faced on 7/17/02, the possibility of being paralyzed from his waist down due to a severe curvature of the his upper and lower spine "congenital Scoliosis" from birth. Due to the growth spurt of boys, it was now a critical issue for his health requiring aggressive surgery.

Janice Blu's siblings, Sarah and Daniel watched in silence their older sister become totally dependent on someone for basic human needs. It was too much for them to bare and now Daniel and Sarah once again faced the possibility of Daniel being wheelchair bound if the surgery was not successful. My son had to "re-learn" just like his sister Janice "Blu" how to walk with a walker and to fight with his spirit not give into depression due to the physical changes after aggressive spine surgery that reconstructed his lower spine, had one rib and part of his hip bones removed to be used in the reconstruction. He came to know pain as his older sister feels. It was the altered life of his sister that kept his spirit going, so he mustered all the strength he could to recover.

We were blessed that he was not paralized as we had been told he could be 50/50 chance per surgeons.

My son will never walk straight again yet he can walk on his own and even now swims to strengthen his back muscles. As he and his sister Sarah, came to know very well the daily life of someone totally depenedent on others to care for their needs, it was an incredible emotional impact on all of us.

The spirit within our souls, that is the energy that somehow as artists, ignited within us, the courage to embark in our journey of survival and face our challenges with the view in mind to do the best we could under the circumstances.

The tremendous struggles and strain we faced, is now the Energy, The Hope, the Strength to know that no matter what we face, as long as we have hope and have support even if it is only from one person, challenges can be overcome. The key factor is knowing that there must exist a Creator that will give us the needed strength to endure.

Our journey was not complete though, as events continued to test our endurance and perseverance.

To have been blessed with such children, gifted not only artistically but academically as well, one cannot expect to receive only blessings but we too must accept adversities and to continue to nurture the gifts bestowed upon us.

The impact upon families that have a loved one suffer TBI/ABI or any other neurological disorders is mind boggling.

Children facing the trauma of a loved one with TBI/ABI is inconceivable at times. As other families have come to know that it is a chain reaction of series of events that seemed not to subside, but to intensify in the journey of life post traumatic brain injury with a loved one or any disablity.

The artistic gifts in my children, the beauty of their creativity as I too have re-discovered within myself, is the source that has helped us see Richness of Life, the Beauty of Understanding, tje Art of Listening and the Courage to venture in paths otherwise would not have been found.

My younger daughter Sarah, an artist also who at age 2, was introduced to the arts by her older sister "Blu". Sarah's artistic abilities reveal the gifts in her by the outstanding depth and detail.

Amidst it all, the event of 12/4/97 with her older sister whom she so loved dearly and looked up to,

Sarah experienced turmoil as if a tempest have swallowed her soul, yet the characteristics of what had been already defined in her persona, the core of her continued existence despite all odds is her beauty.

Events became like thin threads we wove in our canvas, four artists who somehow hang on to those thin threads that has produced an intricate woven art piece that reveals the depth within our souls by tears and trials, yet strengthened our resolve to live on.

Who would have expected next, that somehow what is refer to as "burn out" to caregivers, was the very thing that revealed what I had not known about my own health.

Prolonged stress and sleepless nights, was what doctors said was the source of my own body reacting to all the events in our altered life post a loved ones TBI. My health breaking down, revealed to me long sought understanding of internal struggles through out my life I buried so as to continue to accept whatever challenges I faced.

An MRI and an MRA, revealed abnormalities in my own brain that I never knew were there. Prolonged untreated hypertension was the cause, per neurologist. Overwhelming events back in May of 2001, could no longer be ignored without affecting my health. In addition sleep deprevation took its toll as so many caregivers can relate too.

Despite 'hidden abnormalities' in the brain, one faces those issues and move on looking forward with hope and endurance.

For myself, it was going on half a century that I was informed of my of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder along with the consequences of prolonged untreated hyperstension. This fact helped me to understand to a greater degree the importance of deeper sense of compassion and understanding towards all those that live with TBI/ABI or any neurological disorders as unless you experience it individually one can not begin to appreciate the realities of their own lives being altered and the daily fatiguing challenges they must face.

The findings about my health, helped me "adjust" once again the direction of my path. One faces the reality of Long Term affects and consequences not only for the Survivor of Brain Inujuries, but the entire family.

Just as I did not accept that my daughter was "non-congnitive abilities, level III" upon her release back on 5/13/98, as a "final prognosis" and coming to find out four years later that she had been "mis-diagnosed" based on a neuro-physche evalutaion by a neurologist on March of 2002. Thus my resolve to continue to do the best I could, and was moved to become a self advocate to be her voice and actively advocate not only for my daughter but for other survivors as well. As my own daughter cannot express herself freely due to apraxia (lack of initiation to communicate, and must be cued).

Having in mind that so many survivors of TBI/ABI do not have family or friends that can advocate on their behalf so my efforts of education and awarennes through out the communities.

Another aspect of Advocacy is continuing my quest to seek programs and facilities that will go beyond the status quo and respond to the needs of survivors. Our lives have been touched by souls that express kindness in our times of need. Their caring refreshed our souls so it is we ourselves recipricate that kindness to others.

The mental challenges, that otherwise could not have been endure had we not known come to find the support, love and caring by others that faced TBI/ABI in their lives or families.

Another tool was unique website: /, where survivors, caregivers, family and friends find support and understanding and yes critical information about medical findings, resources, facilities all within our reach without having to succumb to despair.

It is a challenge to have so many doctors and appointments to keep track of but at least I have been blessed by so many that gave of themselves to help me understand TBI/ABI and to continue in our path of surviving.

Despite "hidden abnormalities" in the brain, one faces those issues and move on looking forward with hope and endurance.

Our story is just one of many stories.

Others endure incredible challenges and thus together we appreciate the compassion and understanding of all those individuals that touched our lives.

Lives of individuals, the product of "survival against all odds" as so many of us have heard from a medical perspective.

Our story is indicative of how the arts were the fiber that created a "Canvas of Life", my life.

"Contradiction A Path not Envisioned" words penned by Janice Blu.

Jewels whose luster glows, similarly I see th glow of my children despite the adversities, they have faced and will continue to face ever evolving events that I hope will enrich their soul as it has mine.

"CANVAS OF LIFE"

Blessings in Disguise

My Children.

Pearl,M.S.
Copyright: Pearl, M.S.
3/10/02
Revision 8/1/03

Janice "Blu" aka H.L.Buderickx