Well my story starts of in November of 1997 in Stow Mass.I was a FedEx driver for 10 years at that time with no accidents on my record.I worked in the town that's I reside in so I could go home for lunch everyday.Life couldn't have been any better till that day.On November 18 1997,it was clear,bright and sunny day out here in the country and about 1:30 pm I was just finishing up my route to go home for lunch.I stopped to take a left hand turn when Wham,I got rearended by a semi hauling sand.The back wheels of my FedEx truck where off the ground and I was looking down at the street.The semi pushed my about 50 feet or so till he jack-knifed and hit the on coming traffic.I should have called in sick that day!!! Someone came over to see if I was alive and I was more or less,but my left side was shaking,back of my neck and shoulders was cold and my tongue felt funny.So the ambulance got there and wanted to take my to the hospital but I refused because there was not much pain "probably because of no feeling".I was dizzy but I did remain working for two more hours after.By the time I got home I felt like I have been hit by a truck.So the next day im in the hospital with pain,dizziness,ringing in the ears,back pain,burning and so on.The emergency room doctor said I should seek rehab or chiropractor so I did the Chiropractor for 2 months till I was discharged and told there is to much damage for her to fix and to seek medical doctor.Then the doctor shuffle from hell started.I went to and ortho surgeon to 3 neurologists to a physicist and finally to neuro physiologist.All of this took about three years.I had been diagnose with everything from a mild stroke to MS.I really thought I was losing my mind.I tried going back to work as a driver about 3 months later to see if the problems would work out.I was so tired all the time so I thought if I got back to work everything would straighten out and I would be back to normal,and the sun would shine everyday and the birds would sing and the would be at peace. Reality set it when I walked in the door at work.My organizational died at the accident scene.My left side did not work the same as the right and my walking is impaired.Now What? I tried to stick it out to no avail.Towards the end I fell out of my truck because of the vertigo and I had to call in sick everytime it rained because I was so dizzy and nauseated.After I fell out of the truck I was sent to the final neurologist and he said no more driving.I took that to mean the FedEx truck and not my own vehicle but I never questioned him on that.FedEx moved my inside for that last 90 days part time but I found that reading makes me more tired than any thing I do.Towards the end I could not even make the fours hours a day,I was so tired.Going home I would get lost and on one road I was on there was just me and a yellow line down the middle and I was not sure what side to drive on.My god what has happened to me!This is so unfair,I was doing nothing but waiting to turn!Can hitting you head do all this to you and your life? Fours years later my job and my life as I knew it is gone.Most of me died on the street in 1997.My family and friends look at me as if I am a stranger who infested my body.My last rehab was vocational rehab.My doctor wanted a evaluation.The first day there expected me to spend all day there,that just wont happen.I was so stressed when I got there I made about 2 hours and my neck was so bad I could not breath.The next day it rained and I was sick.They came to my home to see how I live and see if I need and aides in the house.The next day I was there they said I should not drive!So you can guess where I don't want to go back to.I should have stopped after that week in foresight but I continued but it was just a waste of there time and mine.Looking back now I started using some of there hints about 6 months after I had left.I was not prepared for that rehab at that time and should have stopped it when I had the chance.That rehab is for disabled people not for me,im not disabled!!so I told myself.The rehab ended with neuo-phyc testing in which I thought would be easy because I have done that before.Not the case.His's was more involved and I got brain fry in the beginning and screwed up the whole thing.Two days of testing two hours each and I only last about 30 minutes of testing and im so tired I don't know my own name.Well any way tests came inconclusive like most of my tests which was a nice way of saying she thought is was faking or not trying to make me sound worse that I am.I was enraged beyond belief!!!!How dare someone say that about me!I know its her view on my test results but I don't care.So back to my main doctor to discuss the results of this test.She could see how upset I was and told me straight out "you are going to be like this and there's no cure but you can heal".What the hell does that mean???She told me to learn all I can about TBI and get involved.So I did.My first book "coping with mild traumatic brain injury"is the bible for Tbi.The first thing is you have to admit that this is the way you are and you have to make do with what you got.Once you do that then you can begin healing.My job is gone and I got SSDI on the first shot so I guess I am disabled.I thought I had a better chance of getting pregnant before getting social security but I was wrong.The hardest thing is my doctor don't want me to drive.I can deal with the pain,ringing,dizziness,anger,nausea,constant fear of something,but leaving me stranded on top of that is a real bummer.But I try to make the best of it.I walk everyday,try to think happy thoughts and blank out the "why me"syndrome.One step at a time,and that don't matter if you have a cane in your hand or not . . . Dave