hello my name is august and i am desperately seeking help with my condition, ill fill you in on a little story of my hell life.first of all i wonder why i am alive. i was in a car accident in 1991 that the car fliped 7 times and was cut in half at the fire wall , car was in 2 pieces, well i walked away and people asked me if i knew the people that died in the car and i said i was driving, well they were appauled.i knew my life was headed for distruction so i got an offer to move to miami florida to work so i went not knowing what was in store for me.well all went well from 1992 to 1995 when i went to a bachelor party to a strip club and a bouncer had a steroid rage with me and wanted me to leave the club so i proceeded out to the 2 limosines that were awaiting for the 12 of us outside the club, when he told me i had to leave i proceeded and everyone in the party asked me what was going on and i said i dont know he wants me to leave.well they all got up and were paying their bar tab and when they walked outside the club there i was unconsious on the ground , i was regurgitating on my vomit so witnesses started addressing me over to my side so that i did not sufficate on my vomit. well i woke up after 2 minutes and i thought that he punched me and i fell on the ground, well thank god or whoever that ther were 7 wittnesses outside the club that witnessed what happened.at the time i woke and stood up the paramedics asked me if i wanted to go to the hospital and i said no i did not know what had really happened, and the police wanted to know if i wanted to press charges and i said no, they said what do you want to do i said i want to go home, well they let me get in the limosine and go home and all of the people in the limo kept asking me if i wa sok and what happened and i said i dont know , and asked if i wanted them to bring me to the hospital and i said no.the limo dropped us off at my friends house and i got in my car and went home and went to sleep.well when i woke in the mornin i had blood coming out of my eyes, nose, and ears, and i felt like i was dieing so i asked my girlfriend at the time to bring me to the emergency room for help well what a surprise i got when she bruoght me there they immediately put me in icu, they did a mri and said ih my god his brain is hemoraging so bad we are surprised that he didnt die in his sleep what happened to him well then the truth was revieled.the doctors said that they did not want to drill in my head to relieve the blood pressure in my head cause it was very possible i would have an anurism and a suit would be on the hospitals hand so they said 50/50 we have to let him lay, either he will die or he turns around we will just have to watch him closely.so the priest was called in along with all of my familly members, which all had to be flown in cause they all were in louisiana and i was in florida , so the priest read me my last rights before i was going to die. so everyone patiently waiting and crying to see how i would do, well it is pretty evident that i did not die cause i am writing this letter right now.well i hope someone reads this and feels moved by this story and reaches out to help me.i stayed in icu for 12 days and i walked away but it aint over yet. after comming out of icu to the regular flooe the fort lauderdale police dept was notified that i was near death so when i stable enough to talk the sherriffs dept came to the hospital to take a report from me as to what had happened cause they wanted to arrest this physyco that did this to me, well thje story went like this , the police told me when they came to see me that he did not punch me and i fell on the ground, i was told that there were 7 wittnesses outside the club and their story was consistant with all parties that wittnessed the violent act. they told police that i walked outside the club and was walking towards the limo and the bouncer ran up behind me(coward)and grabbed me by my ear and started slamming my head into a wall a concrete wall and then he took me ovet to a second concrete wall and slammed my head some more , well the people outside the club started yelling to him to stop and let me go, well i was unconcious at the time they demanded that he stop so he stood me up and pushed me away from him and i fell backwards slamming my head on the concrete ground, that is where they seen me uncincious and revived me after 2 munutes. i did not know all of this had taken place so that is why i wanted to go home. well like i said the doctore said my brain was hemoraging so bad that i should have died in my sleep. so now i am as a result of that assault, blind in my eye, deaf in my left ear and i cannot smell or taste any more and i have 3 herniated and 2 buldging discs in my spinal cord from the impact into the walls.i saw all kinds of sikes and doctors and was put on some hellaciouse medications, my driving privilages wre taken away from me for 1 year to see if i was seizure prone, well i did not have one seizure, so i was ok to drive again, ive seen all kinds of neaurologists and physciatrist and all that good stuff. well life was not the same anymore then i went into denial of not wanting to live like that i was not the person i was before now i am ruined and i want to die.many years of therapy and medication, well i lost it after about 2 years into this treatment i lost my business that in 1994, i made gross in 8 months 204,000 dollars i was on top of the world i thought. well i lost my business, i loast all of my material things that i had to sell to surveve and that was very hard for me to accept and do. but i had no choice. then i couldnt work much anymore like i used to so i fell behind on my house and i lost my home , well my girlfriend (that susposedly loved me) moved in with her sister and her sisters boyfriend and they did not like me cause i was a idol to other people that had class and they werent one of them , well they wouldnt let me live with them so i went and lived on the streets for 1 month and then a friend took me in , now keep in mind how devastating all of this was to me i was freaking out in a bad way.well the people that took me in was alchoholics and the fighting with the wife and kids was driving me crazy. so i knew i had to do something so i called my mom in tampa florida and asked if i can come stay with her to get my feet back on the ground, well i left south florida and headed north and may i say when i lost my home i started throwing all of my personal things in the garbage dumpster because i knew i was going to kill myself.i did not need these things anymore, i cant even remember what i threw away? in the time before i lost my home and was convinced that the only way i was going to keep my haed above the water was to sell everything that i had , well that was hard for me to swallow, so i continousilly tried to kill myself, i overdosed 6 times almot made it once, but for some reason i was always found in the nick of time to bring me back but that did not stop me i tried 6 times and did not sicceed. so i went to tampa and my mom seen how over medicated i was so she said i cannot see you like this i am bringing you to get help so off to the emergency room in tampa i was vtaken so they said i need to see a physicatrisr so we made an appointment and he put me on some more medications.the medications i was on were , prozak, paxil, seroquel, lorecette, ambien sleeping pills, and some other medication for nausia, and more that i cant recall.so ok my mom is trying to pay my bills and it was not working and i said mom i am going to ruin you , you have enough time paying your bills much less mine , so i waited till she went to work and i knew she had a gun in the house so i started searching for it, well i found it, and i was praying to (god?) to forgive me for what i am about to do and at that time a knock was at the front door and it was my sister so i hid the gun and when i opened up the door she seen i was cryin and asked what was wrong and i told her i could not live like this anymore and i pulled out the gun and stuck it in my mouth and she started pleading with me not to do it, well i did not want my sister to see me do this i wanted to be alone when i did it so i put the gun down. and a friend in bay st.louis mississippi called me up and said augie before you hurt yourself pleas come to mississippi and see if you can run your business here we dont want to see you like this you can live with us till you get on youe feet.so i did and that situation was not good neither so i moved out into a trailer by myself, well in 1996 after my head injury i was working on a vehicle.( i remove chips and scratches from automobiles,mobily)well i was pouring a gallon of acetone into a pint bottle and i spilled a little bit on my cigarette lighter and i had a young kid with me that neede some money so i let him help me at work, well he said augie you are spilling it on your lighter, (no big deal it will evaporate) so he grabbed my lighter and looked at it and what did he do ? yes ,he flicted it and it caught on fire in his hands his natural response was to get rid of it, well he did alright he threw it and it was on fire and landed right in front of me holding a gallon of acetone in my hands(most flamable liquid known to man)well boom! up in flames i went i took off running slamming myself into the building trying to get the fire off of me i was flipping all over the ground and finally roled on a water hose and grabbed it and hosed my self out from the fire, and asked him what the hell was wrong with him? he said dude im so sorry what do you want to do? DAH!i said bring me to the emergency room now! well off i went well i walked away with a large scar in the left side of my left leg. ok now im gonna continue, does this sound interesting to anyone yet? all of this is not made up it is the damn truth.so help me (god?)so any way i am tryin to get this all out but it is very complex so,please bear wit me thank you.so after all of that i am back to when i moved to mississippi, well like i said that was a bad scene wher i was living so i got a trailer to rent on my own well it doesnt stop here (anyone touched by all of this yet?)so i was cleaning out the trailer cause here in mississippi all you have is 1st cousins married with children, dads having babys with their daughters and so on, a very in bred place , never seen a place like it in the world and i have seen many places and things.so i was cleaning the trailer and under the kitchen sink was a gallon of unknown liquid and i could not smell it so i thuoght it was water for plants or something, well i had a fire burning outside and when i took some trash out to it with this liquid in my other hand i walked up to the fire and again BOOM! it was a gallon of gasoline it blew me 30 feet up in the air and 30 feet out from the fire, i hit the ground and looked at myself and i was burned beyond reconition i freaked how can this happen to me twice? i grabbed a water hose and put the fire out, well neighbors called ambulance and fire dept, they told them to put me in the shower and run cold water on me. when they arrived they were amazed at how bad i was burnes, they said the explosion was equivilent to 6 sticks of dynamite!well i was air lifted to the university of alabama burn unit where i under went surgery to my body for the burns, well before surgery they made me sighn this paper stating that i was informed that i was burned so bad that the graphs may not take to my lower extremeties and they might have to amputate at the knee caps.i sais i live with a closed head injury if i have to learn how to get around in a wheel chair then so be it do what you gotta do just put me out i cant stand this pain so in went the anestisia. i woke 5 hours later wrapped up like a mummy.went through all kinds of rehabilation on learning how to walk again and keeping the new skin streched so my legs didnt heal stuck srtaight.well all went well, they said in the hospital that they never seen someone heal so quickly like i was it was a miracle they said.so i made it through that too.now i am really having a hard time with life cause i cant do the things that i used to do.i just bought another house and i have no friends cause like i said all of the people here are messed up on oxycotins and whatever else will get them high, and 2/3rd of these people are imbred.i was visiting my mom in 2000 in tampa and i was introduced to a lady that was selling an antisterss product called prime one and when i met her she said you are overweight and i told her what had happened to me and she broke out in tears, since then i wanted to get off of all of this crazy medication that these doctors had me on so i was told by a nutritionalist that my head injury was not that bad that i did not need to be on all of that medication i was over medicated, so my doctors told me that i would never be able to stop taking my medications,well when i took prime one i felt like a new person so i stopped taking all of my medication cold turkey, and it was told to me that i would not be able to do that, well i proved them all wrond i got off of all that crap except for the xanax.well all went good for a while and all of the sudden on came the depression again and all of the other symptoms that go along with it, i am now feeling suicidal, and not wanting to work, eat, pay bills , or pretty much do anything so i called my mom and told her how i was feeling, and she is also on the net trying to find help for me. but no luck so far, i went last week to my physicatrist and he told me i need to get back on my medication well i have been off of them for almost 1 year now and i dont want to go back down that road again so i am crying out for help! their is a homapathic doctor in oklohoma that wants me to fly there to run tests on me to see an alternative medicine to help me but i cant afford to go to oklohoma i dont have the money.so i got on the web last night and found this site and wanted to talk to someone to see if any advice can be given to me i am in a bad state of mind right now, i have no desire to do anything at all and i mean nothin ~!so if any one reads this and wants to reach out and give some advice or be a friend to talk to to help me kep my head up pleas write me my e mail is auguster64@aol.com, god bless all of you and i need a friend as well as guidence to help me find help i cant live like this much longer. thank you for listening and hope i did not bore any of you i told you this is a very complex situation. i need friendship and advice from anyone who fels touched by this story and it is a true story. hope help comes soon.
Email August
